The moment a person becomes aware of a traumatic experience is when their process begins. How that process unfolds for each person is different - based on the type of loss, and who they are. Whether it's a natural disaster, the loss of a loved one, or the pandemic crisis - I am here to support you. I have over 18 years working with trauma, and am trained in effective modalities, including holistic psychology and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
I specialize in healing childhood trauma and learnings that may be causing adults to feel depressed, anxious, and/or overall blocked from living a fulfilling life. I do this through an integration of traditional and holistic methods. I offer this in different formats, based on your needs and desires, including a specialized, intensive style.
what is "childhood trauma"?
Many times a person thinks they have to experience something horrific in order for it to be considered traumatic. This is not true. It takes just ONE MOMENT when you experienced fear, shame, or sadness for it to create a blockage that needs to be healed.
how it shows up as adults
As children of childhood trauma, you learn defense mechanisms in order to protect yourself. Sometimes it is humor, sarcasm, acting out, isolation, or something that allows you to exist with the pain, shame, hurt, and anger that is created as a result of the trauma. This defense mechanism turns into a numbing process, almost a false sense of latency, where you almost "forget" or are "over" the trauma.
This is usually the first stage of the Kubler-Ross' 5 Stages of Grief: DENIAL.
At some point in life, survivors of childhood trauma may hit a threshold - where you can no longer deny the pain you experienced. This is usually when you will start to feel the other stages of grief (anger, blame, sadness).
Most likely, here is the place you will want to seek support.
when trauma is not healed...
...it will usually project itself in adulthood in different ways: relationships, career, self-worth, choices, etc. Any type of trauma can create negative or dysfunctional old learnings or weeds in your garden. Basically, the old learning is carried into present life and usually stays with you until:
1) You gain awareness that the negative message is there, and
2) You take the steps to unlearn it and relearn what is true and healthy for you.
pulling your weeds
An old learning is a message or story about who you are, what you deserve, and life in general. It is like a weed in your garden. They are called old learnings based on the belief that we are not born with these messages. Rather they are learned based on our experiences, allowing you to trust that they can be unlearned and more positive, healthy messages can be learned.
For example, if a child is physically abused they may learn the following:
- You are not lovable
- You are not good enough
- Your feelings are not important
- Don't trust other people
From my experience, an old learning can be created as a result of either following or purposely going against an old learning you saw in a person when you were a child (parent, guardian, brother, sister, etc).
For example, if you watched your mother keep her feelings inside you may either learn to "Keep Your Feelings Inside" as well, or you may rebel and do the complete opposite, making it a point in your life to "Express Your Feelings".
Usually once you become aware of the old learning there is natural pendulum swing from being in the old learning, and then completely rebelling against it. For example: If the old learning is "Not Good Enough", when buying into the old learning a person may appear down, depressed, and actual have thoughts and feelings of worthlessness (passive). When the person rebels against the old learning of "Not Good Enough", they swing to the opposite and and get angry, hostile, and determined to prove and make sure people know they are indeed good enough (aggressive).
The overall goal of the 5 Stages of Healing is to find the balance between buying into and rebelling against the old learnings. In essence, being able to own what is true for you (I am good enough) in a grounded and healthy way.
planting the flowers
Most emotional traumas are held in the body. This is especially true when the trauma was also physical or sexual. This is primarily where the holistic process comes in - releasing the trauma emotionally and physically, using various exercises and methods with the body and mind. Once you pull those weeds, there is now room for the flowers. You are good enough. You are lovable. You're thoughts and feelings are important. You can trust people.