My passion for Grief and Loss work began in early 2005 while working as an intern at a women's recovery program here in San Diego. There I ran a weekly Grief & Loss group. It was then that I learned that grieving was about much more than death - it was about a loss and/or change of anything that was honorable and/or dear to you: A person or relationship (death, divorce, break-up, move, etc.), Loss of Time (due to procrastination, addiction, depression, etc.), Loss of Health (illness, loss of body part/use, etc.), Childhood Innocence, Childhood Trauma, Self-respect, Pride, A home, A job, Your past...
Have you experienced a recent loss? Do you feel confused as to what you need? Or how you feel? All of that is understandable. I want to be there to hold that space while you are processing the loss, and obtaining clarity on how to put one foot in front of the other. Using an integration of holistic and traditional approaches, I will support you to consciously grieve your loss.
Using an integration of the Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief (DABNA) and Holistic methods, I developed a Grief & Loss healing process that is designed to support you with consciously grieving. Briefly, these 5 stages are: 1. Denial, 2. Anger, 3. Bargaining/Blaming, 4. Depression/Sadness, and 5. Acceptance/Resolution.
More recently, David Kessler - who worked closely with Kubler-Ross added a sixth stage of grief: Finding Meaning. The search for purpose in the loss enables the person to find meaning beyond the first five stages can support one with transforming the grief into an experience that brings peace and hope.
Most of the time when we have lost someone or something, we are unaware of these stages - of what we need, or how to care for those needs. A loss can bring confusion and lack of motivation. It can bring bitterness, resentment, and sadness. It can cause us to want to pretend or forget it ever happened...sometimes all of those feelings at once. It is not a linear experience. It is fluid and ever-changing. It is like riding Waves of Grief - and the intensity of these waves can shift with each moment.
You CAN ride these Waves of Grief with consciousness. Through the Grief & Loss work that we do together, you will be able to:
- Be conscious of which stage you are in,
- Be conscious of what's happening and what you're feeling
- Experience congruent and practical methods/exercises to work through those feelings,
- Learn what you need specifically to take care of yourself during your grieving process, and
- Consciously feel a relationship with the stage of ACCEPTANCE/RESOLUTION.
- Deeply explore the final stage of Finding Meaning.
Through my experience, one of the strongest stages is of
BARGAINING/BLAMING. It is a very debilitating and frustrating stage as people tend to try to go into the past and either bargain or blame about how things could have been done differently. This is where most people tend to get stuck. It can feel helpless and overwhelming. It is natural to look to someone to blame, or to play the "What if..." game. Sometimes you blame and punish yourself. It is at this point that methods of "release work" is used.
This is when the integration of holistics and traditional therapies is very powerful: Release work. Release work is using your voice and body to express thoughts and feelings in a safe and dynamic way. There are many different methods - all of which are designed to allow you to experience and process out whatever is needed. This has a mental, emotional, and physical effect on a person. It can also sometimes have a spiritual effect.
When we feel angry, stressed, hurt, scared - any imbalance - we do not just hold it in the mind. We hold it in the heart, stomach, neck, throat, shoulders, etc. Hence, incorporating both mind and body modalities and practices allows you to truly work through your loss in a holistic, profound way. All it take is a minimal desire to heal. And sometimes all it takes is to feel so much discomfort to motivate you to change.
Consciousness of what you are feeling in your mind, body, and heart will allow you to ride the Waves of Grief in a way that helps you to let go and be with it, versus resist it and get thrashed.