The Growth Vigilante

Since I was a middle schooler, I have admired the advice columns Dear Ann and Dear Abby. When it was time to do a special project about what we wanted to be when we grew up, I wrote "Ann Landers", asking for advice on how I can follow in her footsteps. Well, a true passion never lets up - so here I am, starting my first ever advice column, which will integrate my expertise, personal experience, my street smarts, and - of course - my personality. Which brings me to my moniker: The Growth Vigilante. In simple words: Way before I even thought about becoming a therapist I have been a bit of a vigilante when it comes to accountability and growth. My belief is: when we are Accountable, we Grow and we Thrive! Scroll down to ask a question, or read advice given to others!



Dear GV,
My husband is consistently critical of my body and I really don't even think he notices! He will do things like squeeze my sides and be like, "Yummy, more to hold onto!" He claims he is flirting with me, but the last thing I want to do is get physical with him when he says things like that. He is literally standing next to me as I write this...
- RN

Dear RN,
Well, say hello to him for us and invite him to cuddle up to your yummy sides and read this response. Three things all encouraging the same thing: CLARITY. 1) Get clarity on what his purpose is for saying that. What exactly is he trying to say and do in those moments? What is he hoping to inspire? 2) Clarify for him exactly what you would want and need from him when it comes to those moments. People usually love in the way that works for them - teach him about what works for you! 3) Clarify with yourself how YOU feel about YOU. Do you accept your body? Do you accept yourself? Because when you do, it makes it easier to roll with those moments and ask easily for what you want and need.
Stay Aware,
The GV


Dear GV,
I have a big job interview next week, and I have no idea how to handle my anxiety. I have sabotaged two other job interviews because I get nervous and cannot focus. Please help!
- BD

Dear BD,
The job interview anxiety struggle is REAL. It is normal to be nervous about any job interview, especially if you have developed a fear that you will be nervous! Overall you want to slowwwwww down your brain. Before going into the interview, take at least 15 minutes to ground yourself. A great exercise is long, deep inhales and exhales in and out of your nose. Inhale for 3-4 seconds, Exhale 3-4 seconds. To deepen the experience, breathe in TRUST with each inhale. Secondly, get some devices ready to slow things down and ground yourself during the interview. Bring in water, and a note pad. When you start to feel nervous, slow it down by breathing and using one of your devices: you can take a long drink, or act as if you are writing something important down. That will buy you some time to slow things down and ground yourself.
Stay Aware,
The GV


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